menophiliac: onlyfoolsandvikings: Motivational cows for you if...
Motivational cows for you if you are feeling down
alright then
The significance of collars: 200413
I’ve written briefly about collars before, and what they represent for me in terms of my D/s relationship. We had a misunderstanding last night which reinforced the significance of my collar. I had been disobedient while my collar was on, and refused to respond to D while he was explaining to me why I had been naughty - retrospectively I have apologised for my transgressions and I will humbly await punishment for them - but my misunderstanding came about when he then said, “Well I guess you don’t want this on then,” and began to take off my collar.
I think I surprised even myself when I was suddenly overcome with panic and tears. I‘m not going to pretend that I’m not shaken about this; there were some very upsetting things being thrown around and I know we were both a little frustrated and more inclined to misunderstand one another, and maybe it’s wrong of me to always expect D to be the mature, considerate one when I’m being disobedient and unresponsive.
Nevertheless, I have to respectfully ask D to never say things like ‘maybe you don’t deserve a Dominant’ or to ever threaten to remove my collar when I have been behaving badly. I know that D did not mean to make it seem like an ultimatum, and I know that he could not have anticipated the strong emotional response I had, but I really hope it never happens to us again.
In exchange, I promise to do better, and to re-evaluate my expectations and my sense of entitlement so that I will be a more humble and obedient little submissive for D.
It took two patient explanations from D to console me and reassure me that he hadn’t meant to make me feel as if I would be abandoned if I was disobedient. We both agreed that he had responded out of anger and frustration that I had turned my back on him when he was trying to tell me what I had done wrong.
In my second writing task, I wrote about a collar helps me to know my place. I suppose the lesson I should learn from this is that I need to know my place and behave in a manner which is respectful and fitting of my position in our dynamic. In return, I hope that D will also behave in a manner befitting his position too. Because so much of our relationship is based around my training and my development and my growth, I sometimes forget that really, we’re learning and developing together. I want to think of D as someone who is infallible and always in control, but occasionally I am reminded that he is only human, and that perhaps I expect too much of him when I assume he can read my mind. If the transgressions of a submissive reflect upon the Dominant, then surely it reflects upon his ability to control and shape his submissive to be as he desires.
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, and although our relationship has come very far, it has not been without its struggles. This blog is testament to that. Fortunately, this blog is almost always a positive reflection upon even the darkest of times, and it is through these times that we change and grow and readjust.
More tails! Hmmm. I don't want one as urgently and...
More tails! Hmmm. I don't want one as urgently and obsessively as I did earlier, but I am still definitely entertaining the thought and I definitely wouldn't say no to a pretty tail. :3
Kitty Kat's Tasks
Due Monday the 22nd of April:
- A few paragraphs on why Kitty Kat enjoys impact play so much. (Think about it compared to other types of play.)
- One self-taken photo of Kitty Kat in sexy underwear or g-string sent to Sir’s phone (particular focus on her ass and sexy legs).
- A few short paragraphs on whether Kitty Kat considers her BDSM life separate from her vanilla life.
- Reminder that punishment is to be administered for previous transgressions.
BDSM with Smiles: 150413
I’m a very lucky little girl because yesterday I got spanked somewhere near 200 times! I was feeling very fragile last night, but D let me come over and then we had a lovely play-time after he finished all his work. I really love when we’re super in-tune with each other, and just slip into our roles naturally. While he was working at his desk, he told me to get my collar for him, so I brought to him and then it just felt natural to sit at his feet and rest my head on his lap while he did his work - I really enjoy little things like that which reinforce our dynamic while not really affecting whatever we’re doing at the time; I was listening to the radio show I produce, and he was doing readings, and yet we were still within our roles.
We tried out lots of different positions that would allow him to spank me in different ways and I think we both decided that we liked the one where I was lying over his lap with my arms locked behind my head - it allowed him full access to my entire body and I couldn’t do anything to shield myself from him.
Unfortunately I had to be punished briefly for not remembering to count, but afterwards I definitely remembered to count how many times I’d been spanked! Punishment is no fun, and it means that it takes time away from when we could be playing instead…
We haven’t had the house to ourselves in ages, but last night was an excellent reminder of D’s mantra: BDSM with smiles!
D still owes me a birthday present, and we were thinking of doing a shibari course at the local rope...
D still owes me a birthday present, and we were thinking of doing a shibari course at the local rope dojo! I’m looking at the website now and getting pretty excited about it…it looks very challenging, but also seems like a good way to strength your connection with your partner and to develop better communication with them. After all, it seems like the kind of thing that would require a lot of trust.
Either way, I’m looking forward to it - the site says there are three types; newaza is apparently concerned with floorwork, and I think this will be the most useful one for our play, since we don’t really have any suspension points in D’s room.
Kazari-nawa is apparently the decorative one, and I think I’m most interested in that one - rope for its aesthetic value is something I appreciate a lot, and I want pretty rope designs all over my body! Finally, there is tsuri, which is suspension; more incentive for us to go to play parties and dungeons, where they’ll have proper suspension points!
There seems to be contention on the interwebs as to whether it is most appropriate to use ‘kinbaku’ or ‘shibari’ when referring to this sort of thing; maybe I’ll just use ‘ropeplay’ instead.
Sometimes it's not so simple, but other times D just gives...
Sometimes it's not so simple, but other times D just gives me little, direct orders - I like these best because then I know exactly what he wants from me. Other times it's a challenge because he expects that I'll be able to anticipate what he wants - which can be fun too!
Ahhhhhhhhh this is so cute. I want to be tied up to a chair and...
Ahhhhhhhhh this is so cute. I want to be tied up to a chair and made to wait. :3
Craving more impact play.
Craving more impact play.
A few days ago, D and I were talking about a Domme - I know that...
A few days ago, D and I were talking about a Domme - I know that usually it's one dominant and one or more submissives, but I've always been curious about two dominants sharing the job. I know that they might have conflicting interests or orders, but I think I could enjoy serving two people at once. I don't know how it'd work, but I'm definitely interested…
kaganmeister: precious-her: donttellmyboyfriend: WANT! Wha...
Neat!
Reblogging for 'What is this witchery?' Indeed…
You're so adorable ^~^ lucky D
Aww, thank you! :3
It's not luck; it's hard work…
Everyone can be plenty adorable if they want to be!
themasterspetistheonesowet: My thought process when I'm with...
My thought process when I'm with Master.
-Pet
As D would say, I am large enough to contain contradictions!
I still can't get over the marks that rope will leave on...
I still can't get over the marks that rope will leave on skin…
asexyhoodie: I was so full of secrets and they were hurting me. I was so full of fears, and it was...
I was so full of secrets and they were hurting me. I was so full of fears, and it was a lonely place to be. I was afraid he'd reject me. I was afraid he'd judge me. I was afraid I'd lose him. I was afraid maybe I was crazy.
I took a big risk and told him some of my secrets. Then I told him more.
He accepted and loved me. I found out he even had some of the same secrets.
It might not always turn out so well. There may still be tears and fights and hurt feelings ahead, but I'd say it's worth it. I couldn't live my whole life married to a man I felt so afraid to be known by.
Take a risk.
This post came up on my dash today; I wasn’t going to mention this, but it was so apt.
D and I are far from married, but today we talked about lots of things that I had kept to myself for the last few months; I know that they were all quite silly, but I’m glad that it’s out in the open now. I am getting better and I am healing and I am beginning to let D help with that.
These seem pretty basic - almost like collars, but around the...
These seem pretty basic - almost like collars, but around the thighs! Plus a few more D-rings so you can attach your wrist cuffs to them…
D told me to prove that I was behaving by doing research on...
D told me to prove that I was behaving by doing research on thigh restraints! I hope this means 'look up pretty pictures on the internet' because that's all I'm really doing…
Ooh I want something like this! …why am I looking at...
Ooh I want something like this!
…why am I looking at pretty clothes on Tumblr instead of doing my assignment? D:
Me too!
Me too!
I recently got a haircut that finally makes me look my age and D...
I recently got a haircut that finally makes me look my age and D (very rudely!) said that my schoolgirl get-up will finally be convincing. >:(
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